Mirror, mirror on the wall, why aren’t I the fairest of them all?
Looking in the mirror, everything you wish you were blind to seems to pop out more than it should; the red pimples scattered along your hairline, the long scar stretching down your right shoulder, your nose veers slightly to one side, and your eyebrows look like sewing needles glued to your forehead. Your lips are too small, and your chin too chubby! Feeling frustrated and angry, you finish up in the bathroom and burst from the room, needle-like eyebrows sewn together in dissatisfaction.
I can promise that if these types of negative thoughts are something you think about when you look in the mirror, you are definitely not alone. Tons of people go through these thoughts every single day. Like most methods/ patterns of thinking, however, thankfully there are ways you can change them. Here are some tips and tricks on how to learn to love yourself!
To start off, you should know that everyone has a different body type. That goes for face shape or symmetry as well. Being “bigger” or on a larger scale of body type isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Many people I know personally who are bigger, eat healthily and exercise daily! I also have a few smaller friends who regularly skip meals (though not on purpose) and who generally don’t eat healthily at all. So not to fret about what type of body you have, as long as you’re healthy, your body is working perfectly! Another thing that irks me is when people apologise for their bodies being the way they are. You have no one to apologise to except yourself, and that’s only for not being proud and loving your body the way it is!
Without further ado, what are the ways in which your thoughts can change in order to be more positive about yourself? To start, try writing down a list of five things you really love about your body or appearance. For example, mine could be:
- My hair.
- My feet.
- My hands.
- My scars.
- My tummy.
It might be hard (gosh, it was even for me!) but coming up with even 2 or 3 is enough, or adding some other part of yourself that you don’t particularly like, but don’t feel insecure about can work too. The point of this is to just take the focus off of the things you don’t necessarily adore about yourself, and onto the things you do. Remember, it’s a lot easier to focus on the negative than the positive, so if you have trouble with this, don’t worry too much about it.
Sometimes there are simple tricks you can do to make yourself particularly confident for a day when you feel down. Dressing in something that makes you feel cute or fancy is something I love doing! I don’t normally wear skirts, but I feel like when I do it definitely makes me feel much more confident in myself and my personality. Which, believe it or not, comes hand in hand with body confidence. Putting on makeup or doing your hair in a new or different way can help do the same thing. I also like to paint my nails sometimes, if I feel like dressing up for a day, and I find it helps my feel more confident and sure in what I’m doing. Just simple things like these can go a long way!
Another way that might help to train you to think more positively is by complementing others. Whether at work, school, or just on the street, try complementing people on their appearances. This can help you get into the thought-process of thinking positive about your own body as well! Of course — you don’t have to actually tell them, but if you do it could help boost their confidence too!
An example of thinking positive would be:
“Wow! That girl has such nice green eyes! You go girl!”
An example of a negative thought, or what not to do, could be:
“Wow! That girl has such nice green eyes! I wish mine were like that!”
Again, you want to stay positive. The second sentence may seem positive, but it’s generally putting your own body down, which is exactly what we want to avoid.
The last tip just comes with knowledge! Everyone struggles with body image somehow, and that our bodies are there to help us and we should show them love and respect. Know that everyone gets scars, stretch marks are normal, and the fact that your belly is chubby? It contains vital organs, so you might want to be thankful that it is, or you wouldn’t be living. Everyone has different bodies, and it’s okay to be underconfident about yours. Don’t worry if you’re still not happy with yourself by the end of this week — it takes time! You’ll get there eventually!